Seek out that particular mental attribute which makes you feel most deeply and vitally alive, along with which comes the inner voice which says, ‘This is the real me,’ and when you have found that attitude, follow it – William James
The scene of my explaining my reasoning keeps coming back to me. What part of myself is needing to defend itself? The sweet, warm autumn breeze sweeps over my face and arms as I contemplate this question as if reassuring me that I am in safe hands. That part of me felt blocked off from Love when the incident happened and it is still feeling denied of Love.
What do you need to feel the flow of Love once again? Do you need the person whose anger had blocked its path to take their anger away?
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it – Rumi
That would be nice but it’s not necessary.
What then?
My defensiveness also blocked the flow of Love from me.
Why were you defensive?
I needed to explain my actions and I wanted the other person to understand.
Do you still feel a need for that?
No, not really. Why do I need to explain things especially if the other person is clearly not in a receptive space? It just makes things worse for both of us. Why do I need to be understood? Sure it helps but I don’t want my happiness to depend on it.
Yes, I can see that. What can I do now?
Give up the defensiveness.
How do I do that?
See and feel once again the beautiful harmony that was there before that moment. The joy and laughter that you shared. Go back to that point and feel the goodness fully. And if you find that although there was a lot of joy and laughter, that perhaps alongside that, perhaps in a very tiny corner, was a little bit of fear, of anxiety, then do this: Find another event, perhaps with a different person where you did feel the Love and Joy and Harmony and where it was completely unclouded. I am sure you can recall one such moment when that happened quite recently.
Yes, I can!
Well, go back there and feel it fully. That’s it. That’s all I need to feel Love again. Thank you! I will not trouble you again.
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